My God, Has It Been That Long?

Just got done posting a quick comment on Warren Ellis' Fell on his newish message board (replacing the near-utopian-in-comic-related-boards Engine) and realized it would have been even better posted on my very own cybermegaphone. Enjoy, ye who've waited these months for new content.

I'm starting to appreciate the structure and presentation of Fell: The Series almost as much as I enjoy Fell: The Stories.

Like most good episodic television shows, it's not a stringent requirement to access prior installments to enjoy the current one. The disuse of modern-funnybookish "cliffhangers", "story-arcs", and "future story-arc teasers disguised as subplots" keeps the interval between issues from being a "wait" situation; Fell comes out when it comes out. Not that I wasn't delighted to see Fell on the shelves this week, but I didn't ever catch myself thinking, "Christ, it's been forever since #8 came out! I'm not gonna enjoy #9 as much, due to the waiting between issues."

True, there's probably (read: obviously) some backstory living in Mr. Ellis' notebooks and scribbled on liquor market receipts, but the stories that begin and end inside a single floppy alleviate that burning need to see that history explicitly portrayed for me. I know it's there, but Fell in its current state kind of forces the reader (this reader) to exist in Snowtown's Now. The possibility that we might never find out the whys and wherefores of Detective Fell's consignment to Snowtown, or that there actually won't be a detailed six-part miniseries titled "Fell: Owsley, What's The Deal With Your Leg?" never seems to dog my thoughts while I'm immersed in the latest update.

End of gushing rant.

My overview on Fell #9: Typical Fell, atypical comic: solid, satisfying, and yet another Comic to Wave At Sniffling "Real" Fiction Snobs.

Now, what stuck with me specifically about this issue?

"...rich like astronauts."

I am now off to start a band, write songs, and record an album, just to title said recording "Rich Like Astronauts".

And if you're reading this blog and not reading Fell, I don't really know what to do with you.

Oh No He Didn't.

Which one of Wally Wood's 22 Panels That Always Work would you say this is?



At least we can tell which one of Gerry Conway's Sound Effects That Are Always Hilarious is in play here.
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All-Star Comics #58, written by Gerry Conway, drawn by Ric Estrada and, yes, Wally Wood. (DC Comics 1976, reprinted in the Justice Society Vol. 1 trade paperback in 2006)

Friday Night Fights: Sucka Punch! Round 9

Ironically, this punk is spared having to actually hear Nighthawk screaming, "Why do you scumbags always turn and run from Batman and not from me? Why, dammit?! WHY?!"

Ready your kitchen table, for Bahlactus is coming for your stuffing.

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Supreme Power #4, by J. Michael Straczynski, Gary Frank and Jon Sibal (Marvel Comics 2003)

Friday Night Fights: Sucka Punch! Round 7

There are those who don't think highly of Sal Buscema's pencils or Klaus Janson's inks. I'm not one of them, especially when directed by Chris Claremont and Len Wein to illustrate this:

^{EDIT: Now with 2 different pictures!}





























Bahlactus is swingin' a much better ball and chain than you.


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From Defenders #19, by the aforementioned Claremont, Wein, Buscema, and Janson. And by the way, thank you to Chris Claremont, who taught me what "aforementioned" means. Even if that might be a word he just made up.

Friday Night Fights Round 6: Stop, Drop, and Sucka Punch!

Mindless thugs working for an invisible drug operation burn just like everyone else, apparently. But Oliver Queen didn't come for the barbeque--he came for the punch!











Bahlactus didn't come for the cooking either--he eats whole worlds raw.

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Green Arrow: Year One #6, by Andy Diggle and Jock (DC Comics 2007)

Friday Night Fights: Sucka Punch! Round 5

During a single three-issue run of Avengers, Jim Shooter cut right to the chase and made Count Nefaria an outright ass-kicker.


Wonder Man? Take a seat.

Captain America? Meet Wonder Man. And give me your best extraneous outburst.

Thor? You got something to say here? Nefaria didn't think so.

Vision? You're apparently a one-trick pony.

Oh, wait a minute...













Must be the cape...






The Vision will do anything to catch the Fearsome Eye of Bahlactus.

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Avengers #164-166, by Jim Shooter, John Byrne, and Pablo Marcos (Marvel Comics 1977)

Friday Night Fights: Sucka Punch! Round 4

In this corner, John Stone. He has the Devil's Paw.






And in this corner, our champion, Jakita Wagner. She is fond of hitting people in the brains until they stop fighting.



DING!




It's like Bahlactus always says, "Don't bring a Devil's Paw to a Bad-ass in Leather fight."


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Planetary 25, by Warren Ellis and John Cassaday (Wildstorm/DC 2006)

Comics Have Pictures?

Funny as it sounds, comics have rarely been about the pictures for me. Other than aiding and abetting my lazy imagination by filling a story's visual blanks^[1], I've never been much for labeling a comic's artwork as good, bad, or ugly (or even "artwork"). I haven't found a bad story made better with a pleasing artist, or a good story made worse with a less-than-pleasing one. I don't follow artists from project to project (George Perez being a notable exception) like I do with writers, nor do I reject a title out of hand just because it's being drawn by some technically iffy penciler.

So, peeking at Alex Ross' designs for the Next Captain America, I was surprised at how quickly and how negatively I responded.

Captain America, to my eyes, isn't shiny. Captain America, to my brain and my imagination, doesn't need a sidearm or a blade. So Alex Ross can kiss my Super Soldier^[2].

Ed Brubaker, you face your biggest challenge ever. To give us a story that makes Shiny Pistol Packin' Cap make sense.
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[1]This is a prime reason I didn't read a novel that wasn't assigned for a class until I was in my mid-30's. I've read about 10 since then.

[2]And this is the guy who has beef with Kevin Smith over Jack Kirby and his contributions to Marvel Comics? Kevin Smith didn't put Kirby in Mallrats because he was, as they say in the funnybooks, dead. Good thing, too, because I don't think his Captain America design was in need of an Alex Ross Correction.

Fanboy Lurve: Brian K. Vaughan

I'd like today to gush just a little, if you don't mind, about just how happy comics/TV scribe Brian K. Vaughan makes me. Or, rather, how happy Mr. Vaughan's writings make me; while I have no doubt that his personal happy-making skills are considerable, I've never met the guy, so we'll just stick with the stuff he's written for now.

I've never read any of BKV's output that I haven't at least liked, and most of it I've absolutely loved. As I told Timmy B. a few days ago, I'm pretty sure Vaughan could write a long-form comics series focusing on the trials and tribulations of a multi-generational clan of overly-flatulent mole rats and I'd dig the hell out of it. The man can almost do no wrong by me, and I say the "almost" only because there's always a possibility he could write something that just didn't hit me right. So far, though, that possibility remains theoretical.

I truly love the fact that if you boil most of Vaughan's works down to the one-sentence high-concept pitch, they don't necessarily sound like anything exceptional, and can even border on the trite — I love it because it's proof that execution trumps concept (at least in his case), and that's inspiring to me as a writer who doesn't feel like his ideas are anything exceptional. C'mon... Y: The Last Man isn't exactly the first "last man on Earth" story ever written, but what BKV has done with the story has been moving and compelling and exciting and generally most excellent. I'll happily leave the "mad ideas" to the likes of Grant Morrison and Warren Ellis, but I'll take Vaughan's work over theirs most any day. [1]

Some selected highlights from the Vaughan Oeuvre:

• Runaways. Six kids in L.A. discover that their parents are super-villains and, well, run away. Vaughan makes the personalities of each of these kids distinct and appealing in their own way (especially appealing: eleven-year-old mutant Molly). Sure, BKV frequently succumbs to Joss Whedon-esque Real Kids Don't Talk This Way syndrome (Vaughan actually turned the writing of this book over to Whedon after thirty issues), but hey, what the dialogue lacks in realism it more than makes up for in entertainment value.

• Y: The Last Man. As noted above, not the most original concept ever, but just a terrific batch of characters and situations. Y shows off one of the things Vaughan does best: thinking through the ramifications of his setup and of the actions of his characters. Almost every issue of Y features a moment of "Well, duh, of course that's what would happen if suddenly all the men were gone."

• Pride of Baghdad. A graphic novel based on the true story of four lions who escaped from the ruins of the Baghdad Zoo after the U.S.'s initial attacks on the city in 2003. Disturbing, sad, haunting... and I mean that as a compliment.

• Ex Machina. Not quite Runaways-good or Y-good, but still damn enjoyable. One-time superhero Mitchell Hundred uses the goodwill he generated after saving New York City to get himself elected mayor. Ex Machina boasts far more political intrigue than it does big superhero action (though it has a fair share of that, too). Vaughan tries hard to strike some balance and not let Hundred's liberal tendencies turn this into a left-wing diatribe; Hundred's idealistic liberalism gets regularly smashed by the realities of a less-than-ideal world. Also: the first issue of Ex Machina features one of the single most breathtaking final pages of any comic I've ever read.

• Doctor Strange: The Oath. I just read this one last week — thanks, Timmy B! I've never cared all that much for Doctor Strange; I didn't hate him, but neither the character nor the mystical corner of the Marvel Universe he inhabits eever interested me much. Vaughan, however, wrote a Doc Strange I'd be happy to read more about: arrogant without being assholish, fiercely loyal to his friends, charismatic, possessed of a biting sense of humor and immensely powerful.

Vaughan's been scaling back on his comics work over the last year or so as he's now a story editor for Lost, which makes me want to watch that show again (as does the presence of Buffy vet Drew Goddard on the writing staff). But as good as Vaughan would be at the TV game if he gets pulled farther in that direction — his episodic storytelling skills seem profoundly influenced by television — I hope he keeps several toes in the comics pool, as I'd truly miss reading his words.

(Cross-posted in a slightly altered form at Allen's site.)

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[1] Not knocking either Morrison or Ellis, both of whom consistently pump out entertaining and thought-provoking works of high quality; BKV's just more to my taste.

Tuesday 10: Bad Nineties Costume Redesigns

I'm sure by now you've seen the sure-to-be-temporary Alex Ross redesign of Captain America debuting in January. It's not a bad design, I think, if a bit overdone with Ross' fondness for metallic materials; I actually like the callback to Cap's original shield in the design of the chestpiece. And if, as speculated, it's Bucky/the Winter Solider underneath the mask, then all of the black and the gun and the knife make sense for the character. So I'm cool with it, especially since we all know it's just a placeholder until Steve Rogers somehow, some way comes back from the dead (later in 2008, I'm guessing).

But looking at the new costume brought me back to the Nubile Nineties, when pretty much every one of the major superhero icons got spruced up in horrendous new duds at some point (and pretty much every one of them reverted back to their classic look soon after). The list which follows isn't anywhere near complete, but it does touch on some of the high points — or low points, if you'd rather — of mid-90's superhero couture. (As always, make sure to stop by Project: Rooftop for some far, far better attempts at updating the iconic looks!)

Armor-Plated Captain America — The last time Cap got a serious costume update, it wasn't by someone with the design sense of Alex Ross. In fact, I'm not sure it was someone with the design sense of my five-year-old. Here's the deal: Steve Rogers' body begins to break down because, I don't know, he's old or something. (Who paid attention to the details of any Marvel comic in the mid-90's, really?) Anyway, Steve-O's forced into wearing a star-spangled exoskeleton (read: armor) to keep his body from falling apart on him. (Ah, the 90's! Just look at all that needless over-rendering! Good times.) Obviously at some point he got himself fixed up so that he could go back to his regular duds, but I couldn't tell you how. And even if I could tell you, I honestly don't think I'd care to.

Armor-Plated Batman — Surely you know the basics of the near-interminable Knightfall story which overran the Batman titles in the early part of the 90s by now: 'roid-rager Bane snaps Batman's back; a crippled Bruce Wayne handles the mantle of the Bat to serious nutjob Azrael, who adopts a ludicrously over-the-top armored costume for his time as Batman. While the look of the costume certainly matched the mental state and background of the character wearing it, the design itself was terrible and nearly impossible to draw in any way that didn't look ridiculous, as you can see right over there on the laughable cover of Detective Comics #567 (drawn by Kelley "all humans have 300 ribs, right?" Jones).

Armor-Plated Daredevil — Why did Daredevil ditch his normal red togs for black-and-red armor? Because the 90s, that's why. (OK, it's because his secret identity became public knowledge and he, I dunno, thought that changing his costume would give the media something new to talk about during their next news cycle so they'd leave him the hell alone. How many times can this guy have his ID outed and deny it before the public stops believing him? Lindsay Lohan's "rehab was so good for me, I'm never ever going to party anymore!" claims have more credibility at this point.)

Armor-Plated Booster Gold — Are you starting to sense a theme here? Booster, much like Captain America, needed his armor to say alive after getting an arm hacked off and other internal injuries. Luckily, Booster's best friend was a super-genius and could cobble up some life-support armor for him that just happened to match the color scheme of his costume! (Yes, this was the start of the "darkening" of the Giffen-DeMatties Justice League that Dan DiDio has had such fun with over the last few years.)

(A quick note: While researching these god-awful monstrosities, I discovered that Dave Campbell had much these same thoughts two years ago; please go read his blog for more armored shenanigans, including a couple of heave-worthy costumes I didn't even mention here.)

Bug-Girl Wasp — As part of the Avengers aptly-named mega-crossover "The Crossing," most of the team got spiffy new designs courtesy of then-series artist Mike Deodato. Some of the uniforms were fairly decent (like the Scarlet Witch's), some were just a little different (like Hawkeye's or Thor's) and some were... well, they turned the Wasp into a big orange-and-pink bug. [1] The design of Bug-Jan wasn't particularly appealing, and the treatment of the character seemed even less so. Luckily, something positive came out of the Heroes Reborn/Heroes Return hooey which followed shortly after: this move was wiped off the books.

Electro Superman — Honestly, I don't think I'd hate this costume or this power set... if it weren't supposed to be Superman. I mean, c'mon, DC. Changing Superman so completely (and yes, they tried to pull the "No, this is permanent, we swear!" routine) was done just to get the media to look their way for a few moments. Was it worth it, DC? Was it worth absolutely bastardizing your number-one asset, just to get some play on CNN? *sigh* This is why nobody likes you, y'know. Everyone's all cool to you to your face, but behind your back, they're all "That sumbitch DC don't got no respect, it's all 'Hey, look at us break Batman's back!' or 'Hey, look, Superman done stuck his finger in a light socket, ooooh!'"

*ahem* Sorry. Moving on...

Noseless Wolverine — Does this count as a redesign, when it was really more of an obviously temporary state for the character? Well, I'm going to say yes, because if I don't, then I can't include this atrocity here. So something happened to Logan which regressed him to an even more animalistic state than normal (yes, again, I'm a bit fuzzy on the details), and apparently "more animalistic" when applied to Wolverines means "big fangs, poor posture and no nose." Yet for all of the oddness to his appearance, the loss of his ability to speak in more than grunt, the dragging his knuckles along the ground... Logan still felt the need to tie a flap of cloth with eyeholes in it around his head to wear as a "mask." Erm... wha huh?

Bike Shorts Wonder Woman — Don't get me wrong here: I actually love me some bike shorts. But that doesn't really say "Wonder Woman" to me, y'know? Neither does all the black. Also, another clue that we're in the 90s: the jacket. Not an absolute travesty as compared to some of the other designs on this list, but if it weren't for the "WW" motif, this design wouldn't even be recognizable as Wonder Woman. (This design also qualifies as part of the "Temporarily Replacing An Icon With An Unworthy Stand-In" trend, which hit most every major hero at some point during the decade, but that's for some later post. This one's long enough already.)

Torn Hoodie Spider-Man — Oh, look, another installment of "Temporarily Replacing An Icon With An Unworthy Stand-In," though I guess Spider-Man's clone would theoretically be just as worthy as he, right? Anyway, once Ben Reilly, the aforementioned clone of Spidey, decided to take on his own Spideriffic identity, he threw together a red bodysuit and a ratty blue spider-emblazoned sweatshirt which would do Bill Belichick proud. And thus was born: the embarrassingly-named Scarlet Spider! This one counts as a redesign to me as since Ben even took over the lead role in the main Spider-Man books for a little while. This costume? Uuuugly, especially in comparison to the other new Spidey costume we got for awhile in the 90's (the one now worn by Spider-Girl, Spider-Man's alternate-timeline future daughter. Clones taking over for the characters from which they were cloned? Potential-future offspring from alternate realties? Who says comics are hard to penetrate for new readers!)

Skinhead Hulk — Not technically a costume redesign, true, but the hairless Hulk just never looked right to me. He looked more ridiculous than scary, even under the pencils of John Romita, Jr. During the early part of writer Bruce Jones' run on The Incredible Hulk, Bruce Banner buzzed his dome in an attempt to hide from... well, everybody, since it seems that Banner-as-Hulk had done Something Bad. While we spent a lot of time with Baldie Bruce, we didn't actually see a full shot of the Hulk for several issues as Jones built the Hulk up using the "what you don't see is scarier" technique. And then, once we got a good look at Romita's Hulk... I snickered when I should've been shuddering.

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[1] While not strictly a "redesign" as much as a "reconceptualization," this event was also responsible for another of the biggest character goofups of the decade: the death of Tony Stark, who was immediately replaced by his teenage self, a character fandom snarkily referred to as "Iron Boy." Ah, the 90s! Good times. Thankfully, Adult Tony was reinstated at the same time Non-Bug-Jan was.