Zudacomics Begins

"Oh, the demon monkeys that live in my hair will have their message heard!"
-Patton Oswalt

You can say this for DC: they're no longer slavishly imitating Marvel's blueprint for success outside of print comics. No sir, The Used-To-Have-A-Cool-Bullet-Logo's not about to piss away their scarce R&D dollars on stupid crap like motion pictures featuring second-tier characters. (Not that there isn't an Atom screenplay floating around somewhere that practically shits out Oscar statues.)

No longer content with burying Marvel in the So Very Late, They're Almost Early Comics market^[1], DC wants to break new ground in the Cheap New Talent Stripmining arena:



Zudacomics^[2]. 21st century comics on a 19th century budget.

Hard to believe, given how many words I've burned just to set this part up, but my thoughts on this launch are quite succinct: It looks, smells, tastes, and announces its presence just as Marvel's/Bill Jemas' aborted Epic Comics did a few years back. And I'm now groaning with frustration, just like I did then.

Just like I was with Epic, I'm excited at the potential of Zudacomics.com as a herd-thinner of wannabe Brubakers, Bendises, Bagges, and Brothers Hernandez. When faced with a more wide-open submission process, many would (hopefully) realize: I can't actually prepare or deliver a winning pitch on demand. I never got past the 'what if Wolverine was gay?' stage. What was I thinking?
And then these masses would return to their day jobs, passionately enjoying the comics of their choice and lighting up message boards and writing blogs about how crappy Zudacomics are.

And just like with Epic, I sadly resign myself to the near-certainty that Zuda will fold under the weight of thousands of early denial-ridden submissions (not to mention the deluge of e-mails from DC/Time Warner Legal) before it posts the second or third strip. And thus, the zombie/western/Manga/post-apocalyptic/rave culture webcomics hopeful escapes a much-needed silver bullet for his silly little balloon.

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[1]Once Marvel "Superboy-punched" Daredevil vs. Bullseye: The Target, they really only had Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine to grapple with All-Star Batman & Robin The Boy Wonder, The Authority, Wildcats, Action Comics and Wonder Woman. If this sounds like a wholly different post, that's because it is. By thousands of other people on hundreds of other sites.

[2]Have they explained this "zuda" thing? Is it a product of some arcane marketing technique, like naming Toyotas things like "Corolla" and "Celica"? Or is the first available title going to chronicle the adventures of Zudaman, from the planet Krypton 2.0?